ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
false alarm, still single
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
