Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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