He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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