You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
