is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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