No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
