i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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