All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
