Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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