Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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