I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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