think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
