I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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