So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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