Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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