honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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