I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
