on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
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I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
is that a dick in a sweater?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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