what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
