you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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