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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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• (585): View more from New York

  broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.

  (716): View more from New York

  you're writing country songs now?

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You're welcome.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I think I died last night.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah, you got carried home

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Shower wine is way better than shower beer.

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