i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
