I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize