I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
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The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.