i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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