I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
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