im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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