yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
