What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
