This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
