420 ftw
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
