He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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