This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
