And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
