I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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