i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
