just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
