don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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