My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize