oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
