some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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