it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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