My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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