oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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