I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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