Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i love accidental penises.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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