did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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