I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
