it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
