Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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