Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
