It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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