worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
