M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
