How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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