So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
