i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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