why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize