Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
