Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
